Surviving the Twin Flame Relationship- Part 2 How?

In my previous post, I talked about why the Twin Flame Relationship is so dramatically different from all other relationships. So how does one survive, let alone function on a day to day basis? By being willing to work through each situation, and fully committing yourself to the twin flame experience, both of you can strike a balance that can make life not only less intense, but even enjoyable for both of you.

Issue #1- He/she is not like any of my other friends/lovers etc!

You must accept that this relationship will be like no other. We do not physically select our twin flame. Instead, our twin flame is born at the beginning of the journey when the souls split. The process of reuniting begins when it is time to do so on the spiritual plane, which may not always be the best of timing on the physical plane. A twin flame reunion usually begins with a chance meeting between the two souls. Often, that meeting will occur due to a shared passion. The relationship then takes off at a faster than normal pace, with both parties becoming closer to the other quickly. This happens because even though you may have just met on the physical level, your souls have known each other for an eternity. Letting go of all expectations and comparisons to other relationships will help keep this relationship in perspective. Tell yourself that this person is not like anyone else you know, they are your twin. Expect issues to pop up that do not pop up in any other relationship. Be prepared to work through issues as they pop up, and realize that people not involved in the relationship are most likely not going to have a frame of reference for what you are experiencing. Issues in a twin flame relationship are meant to be worked out by the twin souls. Commit yourself to opening up to your twin as together you solve each problem.

Issue #2  Everything is so intense! I can’t wrap my brain around what’s happening, it makes no sense.

The twin flame relationship is the deepest, most intense connection there is. It often does not initially make sense on the physical plane. This is because a twin flame connection is not primarily a physical or body connection. It is not a purely emotional connection either, but a connection on the spiritual or astral plane between 2 souls. Expect certain things to not make sense on the physical plane. By now, you are probably wondering how to deal with the confusion.  There are a few ways to handle this:

First, you need to approach every situation with the mindset, that the intensity will, in fact decrease, it’s just a matter of when and what you need to do to make that happen. One of the things that make the twin flame relationship unique is that there can be nothing between you. If a situation does come in between you, blocking that closeness, the universe will begin to pull the twin souls together. The less close the twins are, the greater the intensity of the pull toward each other

When the intensity begins to increase, first off, DON’T FIGHT IT! Fighting it will only serve to make things more intense, add drama, and make life difficult for both of you. Try to determine why the intensity is increasing. In a twin flame relationship, the intensity increases when there is a lesson to be learned. Start off by talking to your twin. If distance is an issue, pick up the phone. Try to work through it, even though it may prove extremely frustrating at times. If the phone isn’t working, get together and lock yourselves in a room somewhere, with the intent to work through it. Begin each conversation by reminding yourself that the goal is to move closer to your twin by solving the issue. If you are really struggling, get physically close together. It may seem counterintuitive to the point of being awkward, but force yourselves to have the conversation physically touching each other. The physical awkwardness can sometimes push you towards a solution quicker as it forces you to be aware of each other.

Issue #3- He/she knows every button and pushes them constantly. I’m going crazy!

Ah yes, welcome to what is known as the mirror effect. Knowing your twin flame is like standing in front of a mirror 24/7. Everything about you, the fantastic and the terrible, is reflected back in your twin. If a button is being pushed, your first inclination needs to be to look inside yourself, because the annoyance is most likely something you need to work on. If it wasn’t, it would not be bothering you. If you are struggling to figure out exactly what is causing the issue, again, ask your twin why they acted a certain way and then listen attentively with an open mind. The answer may surprise you and open the door to further growth.

Issue #4  He/she needs more than I can give, or I don’t feel I am capable of being who he/she needs me to be. Seriously, I don’t think I’m ready for this!

This is a common misconception born out of fear.  It is false, because you already are everything your twin needs you to be. It is all inside you, and situations with your twin are designed to bring it out. You may need to remind yourself that your twin sees the whole you, and may sense parts of you that your conscious mind is unaware of. In these instances, you must learn to trust your twin and the relationship. Remember that everything happens for a reason and explore the connection with that in mind.

You may also be fearful of making a mistake, causing pain to yourself and your twin. Expect that you will make mistakes. This may not be your first relationship, but as far as twin flame relationships go, both of you are rookies. If you make a mistake and cause damage, remember that all damage can be repaired.  So you pulled away? That’s ok, just reach out to him/her as soon as you realize a mistake has been made. Do not underestimate the power of being the first to say I’m sorry.

The other piece to all this is unconditional love. Every loving relationship, be it family, friends, enemies, or even romance, is preparing you to deal with your twin flame. If you have met your twin flame, you are ready. Remember that there is nothing you can do that will break the connection, or cause your twin to love you any less.  You can use the mirror to help with this. Simply love your twin unconditionally and the way you would want to be loved.  Over time, the mirror effect will begin to reflect this back toward you, and you will begin to see yourself as your twin sees you. Banish “I can’t” from your vocabulary. Instead, reach toward your twin in moments of confusion or uncertainty and say “help me.”

The final piece of advice I can give is never give up! Things may get difficult at times, but never stop reaching for, and supporting each other. Ask your twin what they need on a regular basis and be prepared to take care of each other. Do not focus on what others have to say, for in this relationship, the only importance is on the two twin flames. If one twin loses their way, pull them back in. The end reward, unconditional love, is worth it.


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Surviving the twin flame relationship- Part 1 Why?

Ok so you have found your twin flame. Now what? If you think the hard part is over, and that it’s time to just sit back and enjoy, think again. The real work is just beginning.

The twin flame connection is the deepest level of soul connection that has been observed to date. Everyone has a twin. The twin souls spilt at the beginning of time, each going separate ways to gather life experience and learn lessons. Once enough lessons have been learned, the twin souls begin the process of reuniting. The purpose of this reunion is to accelerate the learning of lessons. This acceleration, coupled with the newly reawakened deep connection makes the twin flame relationship one of the most intense experiences to be had in human form. Why is this?

First off, many people get stuck on the fact that this particular relationship is unlike any other relationships he or she may have experienced. Yes! That is the point! We each only have one twin flame, hence this relationship will be very different from all other relationships. Accepting that the rules are different for this relationship is one of the first steps toward keeping the intensity at a level that allows both parties to function on a day to day basis. Once this happens, you can start to rewrite your own set of rules together, based on what works for the two of you.

Second, many people tend to realize early on that this twin is not who they would have chosen for themselves. The twin may be different and not at all what is expected. Often, a twin flame may find themselves confused and overwhelmed, asking if this is really helping at all. Well, nobody asked you! Your twin was determined at the beginning of your time, and you split so you each could learn lessons. Often what you have worked out is directly in line with things your twin needs to work out, and vice versa. This creates what is described as a mirror effect. In your twin, you see all of your own strengths and weaknesses. At the same time, you are experiencing a connection that cannot be broken. That means that anything you have not worked out previously is going to come to the surface. When it does, the intensity level of the relationship goes up. Once the issue has been worked through by both twins, the intensity level drops, until the next issue comes along. How to work through these issues will be addressed in Part 2.

Finally, let’s talk about the intensity level. The first realization a twin flame must come to, is that this relationship is designed to be intense. If things aren’t intense at some point, then this is not your twin flame. This is not a smooth relationship, it takes a lot of work, but the payoff is the growth that comes out of the bumps in the road.  Also, you will find many parts of this relationship to be counterintuitive, meaning that often you may need to act the opposite way you would in a traditional relationship.

For example, a typical reaction in a relationship when things start to get too intense is to cool it for awhile, take some time off. In a twin flame relationship, this does not work. Why? Because when one or both twins starts pulling away, the intensity will increase. This is the universe pulling them back together so that whatever lesson needs to be learned happens. The way to decrease the intensity, is to pull closer together, and get through it. Confusing? Of course! Awkward? You Bet!

Next, in Part 2, I will talk about how to get through it.




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Aura 101

In this post, I wanted to address common questions about the aura. I will try to answer as much as I can, as plainly as possible.

1) What is an aura?

An aura is typically referred to as the energy surrounding a living thing. It completely surrounds each living thing, and is emitted by that living thing.

2) How do I know it’s there if I can’t see it?

Many people actually can see auras. Also, you know your aura is there because you are alive! You are thinking, feeling, and able to experience physical sensations, emotions, and other things not easily explained.

3) Does everyones aura look the same?

No, just as living things are different, no two auras are exactly the same. The colors will vary, based on a wide variety of factors, such as personality traits, physical/health issues, emotions, or psy abilities.

4) What is an aura made of?

An aura is made of electromagnetic energy particles. These particles form each layer of the aura. An aura has 7 layers, each having it’s own color and each tells something different about the living thing it surrounds.  The seven layers and what they tell and affect are:

(from outermost to innermost)

Spiritual: Divine mind. This layer both tells and affects the living things connection with the greater patterns of the universe. The lessons you need to learn can show up here, as well as karma needing to be cleared. The color of this layer does not typically change, and can reflect personality traits.

Higher mental auric: Divine love. This layer displays the connection between twin flames. It is not always readily visible.

Lower mental auric: Divine will. This layer displays the living things commitment to growth and the spiritual journey. Psy abilities are also reflected from this layer, and can be affected by changes in it.

Astral: This layer reflects and affects relations with others. Changes in color of this aura can reflect varying relationships. In addition, ties to other living things via various relationships can show up here.

Vital auric: This layer affects the rational mind. It can reflect the ability of a living thing to handle a given situation in a rational manner. Issues with this layer can affect a living things ability to understand a given situation in a logical, reasonable way.

Etheric auric: This layer reflects emotions and sense of self.  The mood a living thing is in will be reflected here. Colors can change rapidly, depending on emotions. Changes in this layer can affect common emotional issues such as anxiety, depression, and mania. Emotional connections are also connected to this layer.

Physical auric: This layer reflects all things physical. Health issues may be reflected here, as well as physical sensations. It can affect physical well being if damaged. In addition, all connections that are purely physical can be seen here.

5) What do the different colors mean?

The colors mean different things depending on the intensity of each color and which layer it appears in. I will discuss this in more detail in a later post.

6) Can an aura be damaged?

Yes! Auras are damaged on a regular basis. Each layer (except the outermost) can be damaged. I have listed a few ways below, but this is not an extensive list.

Higher mental auric: This layer can be damaged when twin flames meet for the first time. As was explained in my previous post on twin flames, this reunion is often not harmonious at first. Issues with one or both twins not wanting to face certain situations can result in tearing this layer of the aura. 

Lower mental auric: This is the layer that can be prone to psychic attack.

Astral: Relationship issues can cause this layer to tear. Arguments with a close friend or family member, or ending a relationship can also damage this layer.

Vital auric: Damage to this layer can be caused by attempts to damage the mind of a living thing. Deception is the most common cause of tears in this layer.

Etheric auric: A bad emotional connection or co-dependent relationship can damage this layer. Also, an emotional shock such as death can cause this layer to tear. If this layer sustains long term damage, it can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts.

Physical auric: This layer can be damaged by physical issues, such as illness.

7) Can an aura be fixed?

Yes, tears in the aura can be fixed. It depends on which layer they are in as to what can be done. For example, if a connection to a bad relationship is causing problems in the etheric layer, the connection can be cut (in most instances). Time can also heal certain tears. In addition, a shaman or reiki practitioner may be able to help.

Well, that’s it for aura 101. Stay tuned for my next post, explaining what the colors mean.

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Loving an empath

Given certain situations that have been going on as of late, I took some time during the holiday break, sat down with my twin flame Ben, and seriously asked him how he manages to live with me. After we got past the raised eyebrows, he actually told me a few things about myself that made a lot of sense.  I have decided to share them here, in hopes that it may be helpful to others in a similar situation.

Why am I so difficult to live with? I am an empath. This is a psy ability, and in a nutshell it means that I pick up on everything around me. Emotions, spirits, energy, you name it. That can be good in some ways, but in others, not so much. But I will leave a full explanation for a later post.  Now, onto the tips:

Tips for living with an empath 101 (as told by Ben)

1) Understand that often it’s not you.  Part of the gift (and curse) of an empath is that more stuff gets through to him/her than a typical person. When an empath has picked up on something particularly nasty, a major freakout can happen. Sometimes, he/she may say things to you that just don’t make sense. If this happens, don’t take it personally. Be honored that he/she trusts you enough to reach out, even as their world is crashing down around them. Sometimes just asking if they are ok, or telling them that it will be ok can make all the difference in the world.

2) Be consistent.  Empaths can, at times pick up on some pretty nasty energy. They may see, hear, feel, or even dream some pretty scary stuff.  If that happens, you may need to reassure them that things are ok. Tell him/her that you love them and whatever happens that is not going to change. You may need to repeat this several times, depending on the severity of what’s been picked up.

3) Be patient with yourself and them. Expect that you are going to mess up and occasionally have an issue. However, it is never too late to fix an issue.  Realize that once nasty energy has been picked up, it can continue to do damage. Again, depending on what has been picked up, you may need to be the one to initiate contact to clear the air.

4) Be honest! This is a huge one. An empath picks up on everything around them, and can sometimes be overwhelmed by the amount of information coming at them at any given time. Finding out that they have been lied to can be devastating to an empath. This becomes more important the closer the connection is. Always be honest and straightforward when dealing with an empath.

5) Be understanding and take a proactive approach.  Realize that you have been given something extremely special by having an empath in your life. You have been blessed with someone who will literally do anything for you. With this gift comes enormous responsibility. Ask them what is going on with them. Point out their strengths. Tell him/her why you love having him/her in your life. This is important.

6) Be a good friend! Empaths can appreciate honesty. However, they cannot handle being ignored. Know that again, you have been given a gift. Expect that this relationship will be unlike any other. Be proactive in reaching out to him/her. Giving a little on a regular basis goes a long way toward preventing major issues. Remember that an empath often feels completely alone in the world and may think that no one understands what they are going through. Telling them, as plainly as possible, that you are here for them and love them can mean a lot. Once you have said that, be ready to listen and follow through.

7) Understand what makes them special, and use that in a positive way. Also, understand their weaknesses, and be ready to work around them. Know that an empath cannot stop certain types of energy from affecting them. For example, loud noises, extremely crowded places, and other events may be over stimulating to an empath. Be sensitive to this, and let him/her know that you understand. (For twin flames only: a trick that works- if your twin is an empath and starts to freak in any situation, grab his/her hand or casually drop an arm around his/her shoulders. The connection to you will block out whatever is causing the issue.)

8) An empath tends to take life very seriously. Plan something fun, and try to get him/her to loosen up. Make them laugh! Also, do not take one on one time lightly. This is important, and becomes more important the deeper your connection to an empath is. Schedule this one on one time and stick to it. An empath needs to have something stable to hold onto, especially during times where there may be a lot of energy bombarding him/her at once. Be that person! Understand that he/she loves and needs to spend time with you without a whole lot of other energies around to serve as a distraction. By knowing that you are willing to take the time and focus on the two of you, an empath will feel more secure and be better able to deal with other issues.

9) Be aware of the benefits of having an empath in your life.  In him/her, you will find a loyal friend who will love you unconditionally.  This is someone who will have your back no matter what, who would probably die for you. If you need them, there is no question…they are there and you will have their undivided attention. Be aware that they will pick up on your emotions as well…this is something that happens automatically and cannot be helped. Be ready to reassure him/her. Let him/her help you…it will strengthen your connection and again, will prevent issues from him/her isolating themselves inside any negative energies they may be picking up on.

So there you have it! Try these tips and see if life doesn’t get a bit easier.


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The number 3

Ok, also in response to a question, I’m going to talk about the number 3 for a bit.We have all heard the saying “good (or bad) things happen in threes.”  But why is that?

In numerology, the number 3 represents the third or physical dimension. We do things in threes so that they will fully manifest themselves in the physical plane. Three also represents the Triad, Trinity, or triquetra. (3 combine to make one). Symbols of three are pictured below.

Three also represents a moving forward, a growing.  Three overcomes the duality of two, and can advance creative energy, taking that energy and again manifesting it into the physical plane.  Three can be used to manifest the metaphysical into the physical. This is often referred to as the Power of Three.

The Power of Three in many traditions is believed to be able to be used to manifest the metaphysical into the physical.  This could be three people, three incantations, three symbols, even three events.  It is believed that the first two of whatever happens to be in question are the direct preparations for the third and final event, physical manifestation of whatever happens to be in question.

That’s probably about as clear as mud, so let me try to shed some light on the subject with an example. Let’s say your goal is to get a new car, and you wrote a spell to get what you wanted by invoking the power of three.  You would write what you wanted, ending the spell with “by the power of three, let it be”.  The incantation would be repeated three times.  Then, if you did it correctly, the power of three would take hold.  For example, first you may determine you have no money for a car, so you are upset. Second, you get into and accident, and your car is totaled.  Three, you get a new car with your insurance money.

Notice that in this example, bad things happened.  You must be very careful when invoking the power of three, because you can never be certain that what you want is what you need.  If the two are not in sync, you may find yourself in a heap of trouble.

Another interesting thing about 3 is that it can be used to illustrate the phases that happen in life. For example, life, death rebirth.  Three distinct phases, happening over and over again.  Three can also be seen as a Trinity, both the holy trinity (father, son, holy ghost) and the sacred trinity from pagan traditions (earth, sun, moon).

I could go on forever, but it’s time for me to head onto a plane so I’ll cut it short.  Just know that three is a powerful number, and there are plenty of resources available if you wanted to see some of the cultural, spiritual and historical references to three.

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The number 11

Ok, in response to a question someone just asked me, I’d like to address the number 11.  It has come to my attention that at 11:11, I should make a wish.  While this is all fine and dandy, I think we need to look closer as to where this whole deal comes from.

In numerology, 11 is seen as one of the master numbers.  It is a visual representation of the 2 pillars to the afterlife (heaven in some traditions).  The two pillars represent the divine masculine and the divine feminine.  11 is also thought to be the number of the twins, as the two ones are identical and if you add them up 1+1 make 2.

This does not just apply to times, but to many number sequences where you may notice a series of 11’s.  This is thought to be a wake-up call of sorts.  When you see a series of 11’s it’s kind of a karmic, “hello??!! Pay attention!! Something important is about to happen!!”

If you really look at it, you will probably notice that many things happen on dates with an 11 in them (more elevens, the stronger this may be), or that certain things happen when there is an 11 in the time, or even at an address with an 11 in it.

In numerology the number eleven represents impractical idealism, visionary, refinement of ideals, intuition, revelation, artistic and inventive genius, avant-garde, androgynous, film, fame, refinement fulfilled when working with a practical partner. 11 can also become stronger when working off polarity, like when one partner is extremely impractical and the other overly practical.

Metaphysically, the number 11 represents a spiritual awakening.  In many circles, it is thought that when an 11 is present, the likelihood that a person will “wake up” to certain metaphysical or spiritual things around them is increased.  Again, more 11’s, the greater the likelihood of this happening. 11 can also point to serious life changes, both good and bad.

In short, 11 is a master number, and if you pay attention, it can give serious insight to what is ahead in life.


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Twin flames

Ok, as promised, here it is.  The long awaited post on twin flames.

First of all, how do you distinguish a twin from a soulmate?  I touched on this in an earlier post, but I’ll just go ahead and give some facts about twins:

  1. They are the embodiment of the divine masculine and divine feminine that combine to make one.  Hence, one will always incarnate as male and the other will always incarnate as female.  These roles may reverse over multiple lifetimes, however there will always be one of each at any given time.
  2. Numerology can get really interesting with twins. Typically, if twins are going to incarnate together in the same lifetime, their birthdays will have the element of an eleven or a division of two between them. For example I know my twin and my birthday is March 26 and his is June 13. 26/13 is 2.
  3. Another interesting trend with twins (also from numerology) is a connection with the numbers 8 and 11.  I will go into the whole numerology deal in another post, however 8 is seen as the number of infinity, and 11 is the number most commonly associated with the two pillars as the number of the twins. (1+1 makes 2.)
  4. Twins are different from soul mates, in that they are one. They are never apart, so while soul mates may spend lifetimes looking for each other, twins will not search for each other and will come together only when a need to do so is present. When they do meet, there is an instant sense of trust, even if it does not logically make sense. Each twin may feel like they are looking at someone who is an exact copy of themselves, despite physical and personality differences that may exist.
  5. Twins are mirrors of each other, and because of this may not always get along.  Remember, a mirror reflects all, so while you can see everything that makes you wonderful in the eyes of your twin, you can also see everything about yourself that needs to change as you continue to evolve.
  6. Twins have an awareness of different frequencies that may affect them.  Examples would be numerical (such as dates or times), sensual (such as tastes, smells, or sounds), empathetic (feelings or emotions), or metaphysical (astrologic, or dealing with the astral plane).
  7. A twin soul connection that where both twins are fully awake can be seen by someone who can see auras. Twins who are not awake will have auras that radiate on the same basic spectrum of light.  Twins who are both awake will radiate on the exact same spectrum of light, and will have an aura that appears gold, silver, or pink. If one or both twins are not awake, it is possible that they will radiate the same aura as awake twins if they are physically present in the same location.
  8. Twins often follow laws of polarity (two halves make a whole). For example, male and female, fire sign/water sign, earth sign/air sign, shy/outgoing etc.
  9. Eye contact between twins can be intense.  This is a trait that (at least in my experience) only twins display. More can be accomplished with a single look between twins than with great physical effort in other types of relationship.

And speaking of the relationship, I want to address that next. A twin flame relationship is work, and hard work at that. This relationship comes with a huge responsibility and should not be taken lightly. A twin flame relationship is not about romance!  While it typically winds up going there, the purpose of a twin flame relationship is not just to fall in love, have sex, and make babies.  If that was all there was to it, then more people would be in these relationships and it would be easy. It’s not! Twins come together for a specific reason, usually to make a difference in the world through a shared passion. Also, in a romantic soul mate relationship, there is an intense pull of physical energy. However, in a twin flame relationship there is an intense pull of charismatic energy, especially as the connection strengthens and becomes more intense. There is a feeling of friendship and trust between twin flames, even if they have known each other a short time. Remember, even though twin flames may have just physically met in this lifetime, they have known each other forever.

As I said before, this is an intense relationship, and most people who have not experienced it won’t get it. Also, it takes some getting used to.  Meeting your twin can be both a blessing and a curse, depending on how you choose to look at it. The intensity has a tendency to hit one or both twins in the face, and it can take some doing to be able to live and work together in relative peace.  Which brings me to my next point. If you have found your twin, and dream of living together in psychic spiritual bliss, think again!  One major component of a twin flame relationship is that both twins are changing each other and encouraging each other to grow.  This process is not always pleasant, and conflicts can and do arise.  However, as the relationship intensifies, there is an intense pull for twins to resolve issues as quickly as possible, so as to get back to both the purpose for which they were brought together to begin with, and to get back to the whole growing process. So much for hearts and flowers.

Also included in this growth process is a spiritual awakening of sorts.  Typically, twins have a definite form of telepathy that exists between them, and this will also increase as the relationship intensifies. It is not uncommon for one or both twins to possess psy abilities, and for one or both of them to be fully awake to those abilities.  A twin flame connection is a complete, direct connection between two souls that has transcended time and space.  Two fully awake twins often have the ability to speak to each other, even if they are on different continents.  Because they are connected to each other, it is not uncommon for psy abilities to intensify between them as well.  Say for instance if one twin had the ability of clairvoyance, or second sight.  He or she is able to see things on another plane, that may not be physically present.  He or she also may be able to see some things through the eyes of another.  When dealing with his or her twin, this ability is stronger, and he or she can see more through the eyes of his or her twin than through anyone else. This type of connection may scare one or both twins.  It is especially difficult if one has awakened psy abilities and the other does not. The only advice here is to be patient and work through each situation as it arises. Also, it is not uncommon for these shared experiences to transcend to the physical realm.  Twins may share physical symptoms such as illness, bruising, nosebleeds, or headaches, despite great physical distance between them.

Remember, this is not the lovey-dovey relationship of wine and roses. This is more a relationship of fire, and has endured the test of time. This type of love sees all, and seeks to create a better being both in self and other. Because it is so intense, it should be respected as such, so as not to create karma that will need to be worked out later. The most important pieces of a twin relationship is honesty, transparency, and communication.  If these three things are not present, one or both twins may inadvertently contribute to the creation of negative karma.

It all comes down to the fact that twin flame relationships are extremely rare and special. They can be frightening, maddening, and fantastic all at the same time.  The purpose is to teach each twin about love that is higher than their physical selves, and to allow them to combine energies to make the world a better place.

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